I've been going to a lot of people for advice. And either people don't know what to say or they tell me "Don't do it" "You shouldn't" "You can't"
And that's all well and good. But recently I was talking to a friend and she said "Listen, I can tell you what I think, and so can everyone else, but at the end of the day, you're going to do whatever the hell you want." Which is very true, but it doesn't mean I don't want people's opinions. I feel as if people think I know exactly what I'm doing, but the trust is....I HAVE NO CLUE WTF IM DOING!!!
I don't know where this is headed (if anywhere). I don't know if its the beginning or the end. I have no clue. No idea.
But honestly...I've been severely depressed for 9 months. I'm on academic probation, I never want to go to class or do work, I want to be by myself all the time, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to do anything. And on top of all of that, I was cutting myself for months. All of this is very unlike me. Like I said in a previous blog, I hate the person I've become. And the past few days I've been good. I'm happy and bubbly and energetic, and just....idk more like the girl i used to be and love. So no, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or where its going, but I feel like I can breathe again, adn no amount of preaching from anyone is going to stop me from following the light when I've been stuck in the dark for so long.