My Brother

You know those times when you watch someone's life crumble down around them and you can't do anything to help that person?
My brother was supposed to go to the army. He took all the tests and did AMAZING!!! But then they told him that they couldn't accept him because he's technically a felon. Long story short, when he was 16, these guys burned down this old, abandoned house in town, and made an anonymous phone call to the police saying it was my brother and his best friend at the time. The police picked up my brother and held him there without a phone call, food, or a lawyer for almost 24 hours. They told him that they knew it was him, and that if he confessed, he wouldn't get into too much trouble, and they wouldn't go after his best friend. My brother ended up confessing in an attempt to save his best friend. And my brother went to a county jail for 9 months. Since he was a minor, his record was sealed, but the army can look at sealed records. They had told my brother it wouldn't be an issue, but in the end, it's the reason they didn't accept him.
On top of that...a girl I used to be best friends with is pregnant. And it's possibly my brother's...the other possibility is her fiance who was in jail for using heroine, and is not in court ordered rehab. Oh yeah..did I mention she's a recovering heroine addict??! YEAH.

This girl is such an asshole. She would tell my brother to call her when he was free, and then she would tell her mom and her step father that she told him to stop calling and stop coming around, and he just wouldn't listen. God knows what else she has said about him. But apparently now they are telling him that they want her stuff back that's here, and he told them he'll give her stuff back when they give him his stuff back. So they, in turn, broke some of his stuff that was there and dropped it in front of our door. And her step father (who was good friends with my brother, and spent a lot of his time here) is running around town saying that she would never sleep with him, and that he must have drugged her. Umm...really?! Ur really saying 'he must have drugged her' about the girl who used to do coke and heroine?! I find that hilarious! On top of that, her mother is bitching and complaining that my brother owes them money because they paid for his car insurance for one month. Mind you, he drove her ass to and from the clinic every morning for months so she could get her methadone (it's what you take when you're trying to quit using heroine). And she basically lived in our house, and ate her food. AND they owe my brother $120 for whatever reason. So really...in the end, they owe my brother money.
I really just want to go over there and tell her to stop acting like an asshole, and as much as she wants to believe its her fiance's baby, there's a good chance that it's my brother's, and regardless of who the father is, she is going to be a mother and she needs to start acting more mature about things. And her stepfather and mother are just ridiculous. Because really? I thought you were grown adults, clearly you're just toddlers. You should be setting a good example for your children. I've known the girl since I was 4 years old, and me, her, our moms and our brothers were like one big family for YEARS, now I can stand them. Because this girl will throw anyone under the bus to save herself. She's done it to me countless times, and after probably the 100th time, I just cut her off, I stopped caring. Yes, you've had a fucked up life, stop trying to take every one down with you, and start making good choices!!! Obviously, I won't say anything because it's not my place, but it really pisses me off.
So basically, my brother lost his job, his car, got rejected from the Army which he was really excited about, and he's a potential father, and the mother is a psychotic bitch. And now he sleeps all day, is up all night, and rarely leaves the apartment. And on top of that, he's being really mean to me for no reason. I know he's hurting, and it hurts me to see him go through this and not be able to protect him or even help him. I know it's easier said than done, but he needs to get the fuck out of bed, and get a job. Life doesn't stop, you can't cease to exist, you have responsibilities that don't go away because you're hurting.

I wish there was something I could do for him, but I can't. He needs to pull himself up. While I've never been in quite as bad of a place, I've been down and out, and you can't just crawl in a hole and stay there. I'm very familiar with the feeling of having most of your life suck and wanting to destroy what's still good in your life. I've done it. I was in a bad place a few years ago. And I pushed away my best friend in a serious way. I made up all kinds of reasons of why I couldn't see her. I basically pushed her away and made her think I didn't care about her. I filled my time with people who didn't care enough about me to ask what was wrong, or even care enough to notice there was something wrong. At the time, I just felt like it was easier to be all alone and feel terrible then to have to face someone who would make me tell them what was wrong. A few weeks after she stopped trying to push her way in, I felt terrible, but I was too ashamed and scared to talk to her, so months passed by before I got the courage to try and talk to her. And even though we're friends again, it isn't even close to what it used to be.

The point is...when you're in such a bad place, your natural reaction is to destroy everything else, but you really have to grab onto the people and the things in your life that are still good. I'm always going to be there for him, and I'll always love him, but I don't know what I can do for him at this point. But it kills me to watch him waste so much time laying in bed and being depressed.

Sorry this post is so long.