The Longest Day

Today was one of the longest days of my life!!!
I had to stay up all night doing a 15 page paper...I don't remember the last time I stayed up all night, led alone to do work! But thankfully, I finished! And I got my other paper done and did my readings. I have to drop off a paper tomorrow morning, and then I have 2 finals, they're just in-class essays, but I'm freakin out a lil bit...

I was kind of glad for being so busy, because I didn't have time to stop and think. If I did, then my mind would inevitably drift toward him. I'm not really sure where I come out in all of this. I'm definitely not crying about it anymore, but I do miss him. Not this version of him, the old version of him. And I obviously know that I'm never gonna get that version of him back exactly. But part of me wishes he could go back to being sweet...although I still couldn't deal with the whole his ex is pregnant with twins thing...
I guess when it comes down to it...my wish would be to find out that his ex is lying, and he finds his way back to his old self. But since I know that it probably won't work out like that, I'll settle for the hope that soon I won't think of him all day, every day. I wonder if he misses me...or cares anymore...
This is something I wrote before I told him how I felt about him, and I guess I just miss when things were so new, so untouched and not fucked up...

Seeing you
Is the best part of my day
And I’ve been trying so hard
To keep my feelings at bay

Because the simple truth is
I can’t have you
I knew it from the start
But there’s something about you
That’s affecting my heart

I'm off to enjoy some much needed sleep!!! Night world.