Writing and Sunrises

Writing is a big part of who I am. Lately, I've not been inspired to write. A good portion of this year, I spent seriously depressed. I won't go into detail about that, because that's an entirely different topic which deserves its own blog. Writing (for the most part) helps me when I'm upset. I'm not the type of writer who sits down and is already planning in their head what they're going to write. Most times, I just sit down and let my mind blank out. I don't control what I write, it's a mystery to me. I just write and then tweak stuff. I guess that's part of why I procrastinate. I'm never the person to go over their stuff. I believe that what I write is what I meant to write on some level, so it shouldn't be drastically changed. with that....this is just something I wrote... I stayed up all night (its currently 7:40AM). I spent the night enthralled in a book. And I watched the sunrise. It's my favorite time of day because its beautiful and peaceful and underrated. Everyone lovvessss the sunset, I say sunrise is better. It's just as beautiful, and it signifies the start to a new day, which means new possibilities.
One of the few good things my mother did was when I was pretty young, some nights me and my mom would stay up late and fall asleep on the couches we had. On those nights, she would always get me up early and we would walk down to the river front and sit and watch the sun rise. Those were one of the few times that were peaceful for us. And when I was older, I would stay up all night and go down to that same spot and watch the sun rise alone. it was my solace for a very long time. Watching the sun rise is cathartic for me. It helps me think and clear my head.
I wasn't thinking about much of anything when I wrote this, it's just what came out...


This is all I can tell you
My break in life is overdue
This life of chaos I outgrew
One fact that I hold true
Is chaos is not something you can subdue

But that's not the issue
The choices you make, you can't undo
And I'm not the girl you once knew
I haven't been since I had a preview
Of a peaceful life, with faith renew
I'm on a journey I will pursue
A life without the lies people spew
A life people wouldn't consider taboo
A life where people aren't trying to outdo
Me and the things I try to do

This is all I can tell you
I just want a life I can value
I just want to experience something new.