I was hoping that I was just stressing too much over the whole being behind on the rent thing. But I was talking to my brother and he was like "yeah we're definitely gonna get kicked out before the end of the summer." And he's not one to be overly dramatic. I just don't know what to do. My family has helped out with paying our rent and everyone is broke right now, they can't help anymore.
If we get kicked out, I'll have to live with my dad and my grandma again. Now, this may not seem all that bad, but it is. If I had to point to a time in my life where I was really and truly depressed, it would be when I lived with them before. My dad isn't really the problem, it's my grandma. She thinks 6pm is late, I'm not allowed to go out with friends if I'm gonna be home later than like 8pm. And we get into HUGE fights about the stupidest shit. She would get mad if i had my comforter on my bed on the navy blue side instead of the side with the flowers, or the fact that I had the fan on at night in the winter time. She bitched because "it costs money"!! I was like "ok grandma, i'll give u the like 5 cents that it costs!" really?! Its unnecessary. I should've just done the summer crew thing on campus and stayed there for the summer. I don't know why I didn't. I'm kicking myself repeatedly for not doing that. I can't live there, I won't do it. And I have nowhere else to go. I wish I could pay the rent myself, cuz I'd do it, but I don't make that kind of money. And I try to talk to my mom and my brother about getting jobs, and they get mad at me. My brother says there are no jobs out there, and my mom says she can't start working again until she's better cuz apparently she's "sick." That bitch is ALWAYS "sick" she always claims that there's something wrong, yeah..it's in ur fuckin HEAD!!! And there are always jobs if u look hard enough..whether its mopping floors or working at mcdonalds, there's always SOMETHING out there! And my mom really needs to just suck it up. I don't understand how I'm the only one worried about this! I'm so fuckin stressed. I cannot deal with this shit.
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I think that if you do end up living with your father and grandmother that you should sit your grandmother down and have a serious talk with her about the fact that you are 20 years old and that you're not a little girl. This doesn't mean that you will be acting reckless but she needs to understand that you are growing up & who knows it might be a good thing for you to live with them just think positively about it.
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