I just feel off lately. I don't really know what to do with myself anymore. I feel stuck in a rut. I don't want to be here, but there's no where else to be. I understand WHY I'm at college, and I'll follow it through especially since I've made it this far, but this place is fucking with my head. This lifestyle I've gotten into isn't fun anymore. It's the same shit all the time. It's the same people all the fucking time. How many nights can I really be happy with smoking and chilling with the same people? I love them to death, but I want some variety, I'm stagnant and it's really actually starting to affect me.
I feel like I'm in a box, and I'd love nothing more than to break out of it. I just don't know how or what to do with myself after I'm out of said box. Bottom line: I feel dumb when I smoke, it's gotten to the point where I can't even write anymore and it depresses me. I feel like I'm suffocating.